Dear Harlan,
My son is going away to college this fall. He just got his roommate assignment. He is a blond-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian boy from New York, and has not really had much contact with African-Americans. Well, all three of his roommates are African-Americans. He is very uncomfortable with this. The school is in the South, but even when we went to the orientation, it was primarily Caucasian. Why would the college do this? It seemed as if the school wanted the students to feel comfortable, and it seemed as if it wanted to make the first-year transition as easy as possible. My son said he would have no problem if it were two and two, but the three-to-one has him feeling very awkward. Any suggestions on how to deal with this situation?
Cheryl
Dear Cheryl,
Tell him that one of these African-American roommates might just be our nation's future president. The only thing your son doesn't have in common with his roommates is the color of his skin. Your son can find plenty of white friends outside his dorm room. If anything, this could be a way for him to connect with people he might not otherwise meet. As for the school, it might not look at matching skin color when matching roommates. Until there's a real situation, there shouldn't be a problem.
I am so excited about the opening line to your response, Harlan! I'm glad this mom was completely honest, but why is she so afraid for her son? Since he has not had much interaction with African Americans, this is the perfect opportunity to learn and expand his mind. After all, it seems that their commonalities outweigh their differences. First, they are all college students. They are all male. They all live in the same room. They share the same goal- to come to college and be successful. The possibilities are endless. She and her son have to now open their minds!
ReplyDeleteWhy do you think that the college purposely put you son in with three African-American students? It's not like they have some affirmative action agenda for your son. When I first went to a summer program that was primarily African-American it DID feel weird as it's a totally different culture but I got used to it and got to know them a lot better. I enjoyed my following summer programs thoroughly. Look at it as an experience.
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