Dear Harlan,
I started a new relationship with someone who is used to having sex. I, on the other hand, want to hold off. I'm not sure how long I should expect him to hold off on having sex if he's used to it in a relationship. What's the average time a man will wait to have sex?
Dating Someone New
Dear Dating Someone New,
It all depends how much a man likes a woman. If he's just looking to use her and have sex with her, he won't wait long. If he's looking to build a relationship that can lead to something monogamous and long-term, he will wait as long as it takes for his partner to be completely comfortable. Time is a good thing. There's no rush. You'll learn a lot. You'll really get to know each other. Anyone who rushes you or doesn't appreciate your feelings is someone who is unworthy of experiencing something so special and important. And really, there are lots of ways to get close physically without having sex with someone. You can be the one to help him see that. The only trick is that he has to stick around long enough for you to help him appreciate the joys of waiting.
I for one can confirm that for the right person waiting works. For whatever when I started pursuing my wife to be I knew right away she was special. Sex was the furthest thing from my mind as I wanted her attention and to spend time with her. It took a year, but it worked and we have been married 26 years. Sex is terrific, but not the barometer to judge somebody or a relationship by. Don't be afraid to change your playbook to match the person or opportunity.
ReplyDelete