I've got a neighbor with whom I'm "friends with benefits." My roommate knows nothing about this situation, and I do not want to tell her because she has been trying to enjoy our neighbor's "benefits." She'd be very angry if she found out. Lately, my neighbor has been hitting on my roommate and making some not-so-subtle suggestions that they should be involved in some hanky-panky of their own. It grosses me out and angers me to think that he wants to have those types of relations with both of us. He does not understand why this bothers me. I do not want a serious love relationship with him, because he is a MAJOR player and I do not want to get hurt. I would like to continue the "friends with benefits" thing, but only if he stays away from my roommate. He can be with other people, just not someone so close to home. Should I end it, or tell my roommate and let him face her wrath?
Scamming Friend
Dear Scamming Friend,
He doesn't understand that you're bothered, because he's probably never listened to you. And he doesn't have any reason to; you're just another girl to have sex with. Tell your roommate what's happening - not because he'll face her wrath (you might face some of it, too), but because he's treating you like a piece of meat and using you. Then, tell this guy that you are finished. He's no great prize. One last thing: There is a very real risk that your player could have left you some sexual souvenirs from the field. Herpes, HPV (human papillomavirus, the virus that causes genital warts), chlamydia, HIV and others can all spread without the person spreading it ever even knowing. Get checked.
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