Four days ago I left my boyfriend. He has trouble managing his anger, and he yells at me at least once a day, often more than that. I got to the point where I was crying all of the time. I began thinking frightening things about wanting to die, and then I finally broke down, packed all of my stuff and told him I needed time away. Now I'm staying with my sister. I've called him two times since, and we've talked about a lot. He threatened to cheat on me. He said that he can't just sit and wait around. He keeps saying that I "let him down" because I threw away all the plans we had made when I left. But I was scared. Today I told him that I need one more week, and then I will go back to him. He agreed. My sister is furious. She says that he is manipulative and shows early signs of abuse. I know I am better off without him, but I still want to go back. What should I do?
Stuck
Dear Stuck,
Come close to the page. I want to whisper something to you. When getting abused is easier than being alone, you NEED to be on your own. If you can't, you need professional help. It's perfectly OK that you let him down and ruined his plans - plans of yelling at you, making you feel worthless and beating you down so you feel like no one else will want you. He needs a new plan, and you need to plan a life without him. Lean on your sister and a therapist who can help you with your planning.
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