Thursday, March 19, 2009

How Long Is Too Long To Date Your High-School Honey?

Dear Harlan,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half now. He's still in high school, and I'm a freshman in college. We started dating at the beginning of my senior year of high school. I love him with all my heart, and he loves me, too. We've been doing just fine, and the long-distance relationship (I'm at an out-of-state school) has been working out with no problems. The only thing is, I don't know if we should take a break to see other people. I know I love him, but how long do you stay with someone? I know college is a great time to meet new people, but I also don't want to lose my boyfriend. Should we take a break when he leaves for college next year? Or should we stay together and see how it goes?

Staying Together

Dear Staying Together,

Sure, dating someone your entire life can work out amazingly well for some people, but it's really hard to grow as an individual when you're connected to someone while so young. Forget meeting people. How about getting to know yourself better in college? You can stay close with him. You can always get back together with him. This isn't about dating or hooking up; it's about you getting to know yourself as an individual and him knowing getting to know himself. The more you know yourselves independently, the more confidence you will have in knowing what you want and whether this relationship can give you both want you want. He might be scared, and you might be scared. But it's normal to be scared. Listen to what you're telling yourself. You might need to take some time to be with yourself. That's not a bad thing — just a scary thing.

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