Slightly Stalked

Dear Harlan,

When I first came to college, I was downright scared of meeting people. However, now I have a strong group of friends who I really enjoy hanging around with. The problem is that there is one guy from another residence who fancies me, and he keeps following me around. He always wants to hang out. He's a great guy, but he's not my type; his friends are scary, and he's started to want me to always hang out with him and not my friends. I want to stay on friendly terms with him, so how can I get him to back off in a nice way?

Slightly Stalked

Dear Slightly Stalked,

Forget nice — stalkers don't need, deserve or understand nice. They need direct. You don't need this guy to be a friend. You don't need him to

Publish Post

like you. You only need him to understand in the clearest and most direct terms that he's making you extremely uncomfortable and must stop following you. You can ask him to "please listen," because if not, you'll call the police (using the word "please" is as nice as it gets). He doesn't need to know why you're not interested. He doesn't need to think good things about you. He needs to back off. That's it. In the meantime, tell your friends, alert the authorities on campus and avoid him. A nice guy will leave you alone. A stalker will keep following you. Forget nice. Stalking isn't nice. P.S. — There's nothing slight about stalking.