Requesting Roommate

Dear Harlan,

I will be going to college next year, and I need to fill out my housing application. I have another friend who wants to be roommates with me. I'm concerned, though, because I neither drink nor smoke and do not want to. She does these things, and I'm worried it will increase when she goes to college. I don't want to have to deal with her when she is in that state. I'm trying to debate whether to request her as a roommate, or whether to be roommates with someone totally new. Any input?

Requesting Roommate

Dear Requesting,

Totally new is the way to go — 100 percent. When you live with a friend, there's a chance you'll lose that friendship (sleeping, eating, studying and hanging out 24/7 can do that). When you live with a stranger, there's also a chance that you won't be friends, but that only means not being friends with someone you were never friends with — and that's not a big loss. Besides, there are other places to make friends. If your new roommate is a freak, you always can hang out with your friend from home. If your roommate isn't a freak, you'll have a new friend to hang out with. See, having a friend down the hall gives you options. As for wanting someone like you — similar is overrated. College is about "the new" and creating a world of options. The most important thing to do when living with a stranger (sober, drunk, smoking or gassy) is to get comfortable with the uncomfortable before it gets uncomfortable. How do you do this? Set a precedent before moving in together — make it a rule that if something

makes either one of you uncomfortable, it must be talked about. Then you follow through. If you can both live by this rule, life will be good. Bottom line — living with a friend is a bad idea.