Dear Harlan,
It all started a couple of weeks ago when my boyfriend of three years got arrested for driving under the influence. I never knew how much something like that can affect not only the person who was arrested, but the people closest to him as well, especially when I have to keep it secret from my parents. Now I have to drive him around everywhere and put on this facade like I don't mind, but it really is bothersome. Then I developed a ... well, let's just say a medical condition that is a little scary to me, even if it is a common thing, and on top of that I caught this terrible cold. Now I have a big exam in two days, a $200 speeding ticket, and regardless of how many really good friends and supportive family members I have, I am so unbelievably LONELY. Any advice?
Depressed
The good news is that cold season is just about over. The rest is, well, depressing. If my girlfriend were arrested for a DUI and I had to secretly drive her around and I had a medical condition and I got a $200 speeding ticket and I had to keep this all a big secret, I'd be depressed. So, don't keep it a secret. I mean it. He can get upset, but keeping this a secret isn't being loyal or loving to yourself. It's not protecting him, just his alcohol problem. He needs to deal with his problem, and you need support. And yes, it's a problem when you get a DUI. He needs help. He could have killed himself, you or a stranger. His funeral would be really depressing. His trial and sentencing would be really depressing. Talk to and lean on the people closest to you. If that's not possible, look to Al-Anon or a counselor for support. Your life is stressful enough. No more secrets. - Harlan
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