Teen Needs Help Finding Herself After Years Of Abuse

Dear Harlan,

I'm a 17-year-old girl with an ex-boyfriend of the same age. We broke up two weeks ago. He was very possessive and abusive when I was with him. I felt suffocated, but we carried on for two years. I stopped talking to everyone because he wanted me to stop. I felt isolated. I became a person I wasn't. I mean, I used to be this carefree tomboy. Now, I'm like a lost psycho wreck. I keep crying and crying. I don't talk. I just want to sit in the corner and do nothing. I've become a different person. I feel terribly lonely. I keep having suicidal thoughts. Give me a way to get over this, please.

In Pieces

Dear In Pieces,

One way to get over this? Stay away from him. Abusers alienate, isolate and make the abused think they have nothing other than their abuser. Right now, you're not sure who you are because the one defining element in your life is gone — your abuser. Now that he's gone (hallelujah), reclaim your life and redefine who you want to become. You just need help to find the person you lost. This is where a therapist and some group support can help you out. The best part — the new you will become stronger, more confident and more comfortable than you've ever been before. As for these suicidal thoughts, get help as soon as possible. Reach out to the people who can help you find yourself again. Here's a hotline to keep handy just in case: 1-800-SUICIDE.