Dear Harlan,
This letter is in response to "Hurting Bad," the woman who felt devastated by the breakup of her engagement. I too suffered a broken engagement, then lost my father to cancer three weeks later. So many things change — the way you spend your time is a big one. No longer is there a relationship with someone to do things with. No longer is there a fun hobby of planning a wedding. The largest loss though, is the loss of the dreams and future vision of a life with this person. Not knowing what will replace this vision is difficult to overcome. Fear of the unknown can drive a person with extra time on their hands crazy. Here's what worked for me: I tried very hard to stay as busy as possible. I gardened, I baked, I exercised, I spent a lot more time cultivating friendships and picked up extra shifts at work. Time truly is the best healer. For fear of getting into a rebound relationship, I did not date for nine months. I look back now and realize that it was for the best that we didn't get married. I grew in so many ways from that experience. My life would be so different if I would have married that man. Although "Hurting Bad" may not be ready to hear this, there are others out there. I found mine three years later and am now happily married with four children.
MJ
Dear MJ,
This broken engagement just made you better, hotter and richer. I love it. As a result of this broken engagement, you put a better you out there into the world. You turned into a toned and fit gardener, baker and independent woman. At the time, I'm sure it was hard to see, but it's reassuring for everyone to hear. Thanks for the note!
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