Dear Harlan,
This is in response to the person who is suffering after a broken engagement and feels there is no happiness in life. Many years ago, I was in a similar situation. I was so heartbroken I thought nothing mattered. Finally, it dawned on me that I felt so bad I had nothing more to lose — which, if you think about it, is a tremendously freeing idea. Nothing to lose! I could do anything because I had absolutely nothing to lose! It had become clear that wallowing in my misery wasn't productive, so I decided to completely change my life — and since I had nothing to lose I had no fear. I started taking night classes at the local university, just to experiment. I started going on long walks to induce fatigue so I could sleep better, then bought a bicycle to expand my range geographically. Slowly, I started to feel better. I was intellectually stimulated, in good shape from all the exercise and developed a better sense of what kind of career and life I really wanted. It was quite a while before I dated again, and initially it didn't go very well. But eventually I fell in love again — next year we celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. So, believe in yourself — and remember that if you feel like you've hit the bottom, things can only go up from there.
Better Than Ever
Dear Better,
Profound and true — things will get better. I think that's a message everyone who has lost a job, an engagement, love or hope can hold on to. Thank you.
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