Being Drunk Is Not An Excuse For Having Sex

Dear Harlan,

While I was on a relationship break with my boyfriend, he ended up having sex with a girl who had a crush on him. He claims that there were no feelings involved, and to be frank, she kind of took his pants off and got on top of him while he was lying down. I heard somewhere that being drunk doesn't make you have sex, but that it's the feelings that take place before having sex. Is that really true? Is it possible to have drunk sex with someone you don't want to have a relationship with and/or like? Can it really be "an accident" if someone else makes the first move?

Ex Sex

Dear Ex Sex,

An accident would be two cars bumping on a slippery road at an intersection, not two drunk people bumping in bed after getting sloshed at a bar. If he didn't want to have sex and she took his pants off, it's not called an accident — it's called assault. A better description of this event would be "poor judgment." As for having sex void of meaning and a future, that's definitely possible. But this

doesn't mean that once the sex ends, the relationship is in the past. Pregnancy, sexual souvenirs and hurt feelings can keep people connected long after the buzz wears off and the clothes go back on.