Recognize Warning Signs of Suicide

Dear Harlan,

I met "Jay" when we were undergrad students. He was a much older, nontraditional student, but we became good friends. For the past couple of years, he's been making comments implying - sometimes directly, at other times indirectly - that he's thinking of committing suicide. He's said things about taking a gun and shooting himself (and he does own a gun), and at other times asking what's going to become of his dog after he, Jay, is gone. Last December, he mentioned that he doesn't think he's going to be alive next Christmas. I've tried to encourage him and have prayed for him, and for a while he made less of those comments. Next month, I'm due to leave the Seattle area to go to a school 3,000 miles away. He's been making more of those suicidal comments again, and has been implying he'll kill himself after I'm gone. I told him he's welcome to come along with me when I move, but he declined. I'm planning on informing one of his brothers about things, so that someone else who's close to him is aware of this. But is that enough? I don't think Jay talks to anyone except to me about considering suicide.

Concerned Friend

Dear Concerned,

He has a plan, a timeframe and a weapon - all frightening warning signs that Jay is in SERIOUS danger. Alerting his brother is just the start. There are crisis counselors, doctors, survivors, hotline workers - the list goes on. Jay has more people to talk to than he can imagine. You and his brother need to show him and get him talking to them. That's what anyone with a suicidal friend must do. The most helpful things you can do are to NOT be his only resource and to connect him to people who can help. For warning signs and information on what you can to help, visit: www.hopeline.org. For immediate help (in the U.S.) contact 1-800-SUICIDE.