Parents Freak Out After Spotting Roommate’s Drug Paraphernalia

Dear Harlan,

My parents recently visited me on campus. When my parents came into my room, they noticed something on my roommate's desk. My roommate left her smoking device on her desk in plain sight. My family is freaking out that I'm living with someone who smokes pot. They don't approve of drugs and are worried that this will influence me. What should I do about this?

Fuming

Dear Fuming,

Tell your parents that your roommate also has sex with strangers and drinks. But you're not going to sleep around and drink just because she does it. That should comfort them — no, I'm not at all serious. Here's my problem — there's a chance that people will think this is yours. Even if it's not, some of these people might have the power to write you up, report you or even have you arrested. So, from a legal point of view, it's a bad idea to have drugs or drug paraphernalia in your room. And that's the way to approach her. Pick a sober moment and talk to her. Let her know what happened and that it makes you uncomfortable to be in a room with drug paraphernalia (or drugs). Ask her to hide her drug paraphernalia and to keep the drugs out of the room (in case there are drugs in the room). If she can't respect this rule (or the law) — get out of that room. I know this might sound like an over-the-top response, but a student who gets convicted of a crime involving drugs can not only be expelled, but can become ineligible for federal student aid. And if a student has received federal money, he or she can be asked to pay it back. So while it might seem harmless and funny, it has the potential to be a big unfunny situation.