Dear Harlan,
I am a 20-year-old college student at a very large and popular school. I have been having some problems talking to girls because of a certain situation I just can't seem to get out and talk about. You see, I am uncircumcised, and I think girls would be turned off by it immediately. Not to mention that I think I may have phimosis, where the foreskin is too tight. Should I go see a doctor? What should I do about hooking up with girls? Most of the time they don't notice it, but sometime soon I would want a serious relationship, and I'm not sure how to approach the situation at all.
Uncircumcised
Dear Uncircumcised,
Let's start off with foreskin trivia (who doesn't love foreskin trivia?):
If you meet a woman who has seen six naked men in her lifetime, how many of these naked men would have been uncircumcised? Is the answer one, two, three or four? If you guessed two, you would be the winner!
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, "In 1999, 65.3 percent of all male newborns born in hospitals were circumcised. While the overall percentages of circumcised infants have remained relatively unchanged throughout the past two decades, ranging from a low of 60.7 percent in 1988 to 67.8 percent in 1995, different patterns emerge when these estimates are further examined by race and geographic region." So, being uncircumcised will just make for a conversation. If you're having sex with someone you trust and can talk to, that shouldn't be a problem. As for the phimosis, see a doctor as soon as possible and get a diagnosis. Should this be phimosis, the majority of cases can be treated with a topical cream, but that's for the doctor to determine. If you're not comfortable going to the campus health center, make an appointment with a doctor in the community or go directly to a urologist.
One more thing, if you should meet a woman who has never seen one naked man, circumcised or not, this means you'll be her first. And this means she'll never know the difference.
Good advice Mr. Cohen.
ReplyDeleteIt is absolutely not worth fretting about women not "accepting" you if you have a foreskin. (I don't use the word uncircumcised, because I think its incorrect to refer to someone in their natural state as "un"-and then the name of an unnecessary surgery. What you have is just a penis.. a natural, intact penis.)
If a woman has a problem with it... try to inform her how its normal. If she doesn't get it, move on.. there are brighter, more open-minded women out there, and you'd benefit in every way by finding one of those types of women instead.
Trust me.. most women are NOT turned off by intact genitals. They are turned off by super insecure men, though, so you're going to have to get over your little dilemma and be confident in yourself.
A non-retractable foreskin can often become retractable with a week or two of gently applying a comfortable level of pressure to the foreskin, attempting to stretch the skin back. For example, after urinating, spend 30 seconds gently pulling the skin back as far as it comfortably goes. Do the same thing in the shower, or any other time you interact with your penis in a day. it barely takes any time, but it almost always works. If not, then talking to the doctor about the cream is a great idea.
"the majority of cases can be treated with a topical cream"
True.
Also, the circumcision rate has been dropping by leaps and bounds every year for the least decade.. especially in Canada where the rates are now only about 10-30 percent. The rates in the United States are hovering around 50.