I've been in love with my professor (I think), and I don't know how to get rid of my feelings for him. All I want to feel is respect for him and not be in love. He's just so sweet and kind. There's also this physical attraction. He's different from all the other teachers I have ever met. In fact, he's different from any person I have ever met. What does it feel like to be in love? Is it different for every person?
Confused Student
Dear Confused Student,
Professors are easy to fall in love with. You stare at them for hours. They're punctual. They're great listeners. They don't believe in "stupid questions." They're usually fairly intelligent. And they stimulate your mind in ways you never imagined. Professors and people of authority have a way of making those under them feel comfortable, stimulated and desired - all things associated with love. But he's only interested in touching your mind - that's all. If you want to turn this into respect, respect him for teaching you qualities you can now look for in a partner. As for your questions about love, it's like this: A 13-year-old will define and describe love differently than an 80-year-old, but what the two are feeling is still both "love," and the same all-powerful swirl of emotions. So, find a man who fills you with love, but one who doesn't have authority over you. As a rule, a partner should never be able to break up with you and fail you at the same time.
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