Stinkin' Roommate Smells VERY Bad

Dear Harlan,

The issue is that my roommate smells so bad. He reeks of body odor, and you can smell it from the hallway. It is horrible. It is not a normal smell. It is so thick and pungent. My other roommate told him that he needs to shower more, so he has a little, but the smell is not going away. His reason for not showering is to save water, which probably applies to laundry as well. He always walks around barefoot, and he wears the same nasty clothes. He has long, greasy hair and is overweight. He claims he doesn't like washing his hair because it looks better unwashed; he likes the way it "falls onto his shoulders." Gross. It is greasy. I have tried Febreze, air fresheners and baking soda, but the couch is soiled with the smell. What should I do so I don't have to suffer this awful stench anymore?

Stinkin' Roommate

Dear Stinkin' Roommate,

You're a beautiful writer. Your description of his odor is rich and colorful. His odor jumps off the page.

One approach is to overpower your roommate's stench by smelling even worse. But that would just make everyone stink and it wouldn't be fair to your neighbors. Another approach would be to cover up the odor with a better odor, but you tried Febreze and it proved an unworthy foe. Yes, I understand that your clean roommate talked to the stinky roommate and the stinky roommate said he's saving water and enjoys a

grease-glazed head, but there might be another way to come at this. Approach your stinky roommate from another angle (preferably not downwind). Explain to him that you're worried about him. Seriously, someone this stinky and unmotivated might be suffering from depression or another condition that is limiting his ability to function. If he's not depressed, explain in the clearest term that his hygiene makes life so uncomfortable that unless it changes, you or your roommate will have to move out or ask him to move out. Perhaps some genuine concern and compassion can cut through the odor and clear the air.