Hi Harlan,
I'm a senior in high school and very much ready to graduate. I just visited a large university last week, the university I'm most likely attending next year. I'm sure it will be a great choice for me. However, until I visited, I never realized how nervous I am about all of it. None of my girlfriends from high school are going there with me, and up until now, I've been glad. I realize how important it is to make new friends and all, but seeing how big this place is and how many people there are overwhelms me. I'm a very likable and fun person, but also very shy and known to seclude myself when I'm not with my good friends. I'm beginning to feel very unsure of myself making friends and meeting people. Is there anything you can tell me to calm my nerves and give me confidence that everything will be fine?
Senior in High School
Hi Senior,
There are tens of thousands of students like you in high schools all over the country reading this thinking, "Phew! She feels that way too!" Just about everyone gets nervous. And if you're nervous and they're nervous, no one has anything to be nervous about. All everyone has to do is put themselves in rooms where they can meet one another. This means getting comfortable in your role as a new student who doesn't know people. See, the role of being a freshman in college is to NOT know people. Your good friends are out there, you just need to give them a year or two to get to meet you. Use this time during the summer to find places and activities that will force you to be with other girls. Pick three or four clubs, activities and organizations that will force you to be in rooms with people, and you will meet people. Problem solved.
Keep your dorm room door open at times you would like a drop in visitor. Other girls are just like you not knowing anyone. Your open door signals that it is ok to stop in and say "Hi"
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel! I just started at a somewhat large University. I had no friends nearby and I knew no one when I stared. On top of that, I'm 24, about 6 yrs older than many of my classmates and I have a young child. I now have two great friends and am planning a trip to New Orleans with one of them next month. It seems that some people just seem to click. I met both of them in my classes, one of them was because I needed some help in a class. You will have many opportunities to make new friends. I know it can seem overwhelming, especially for us shy ones, but you will be okay. If you can get up the nerve, strike up a conversation with anyone when you're waiting in line or just sitting in the hall waiting for a class. I hope this helps.
ReplyDeleteI felt the same way all last summer before moving to university. I was the only person that I knew who was attending my university and all I could think was "What if no one likes me?" "What if my roommate and I hate each other?". The first day is hard, but believe me it gets much better. Welcome week (Frosh week) activities are meant to bring unfamiliar students together in fun way (and there's usually free food!). I would be more than willing to bet the rest of my college savings that you are not at all the only person going to your school who doesn't know anyone. Just remember to be open and friendly to people because who knows, that person that you say hello to might end up your best friend, or in my case, boyfriend! College is a chance to break out of your shell. Especially if you go somewhere where no one knows you because there's no previous reputations to hold you back. If you take a deep breath and put on a smile, you'll do fine. Plus, being outgoing and friendly has it's perks. I now have a great job giving campus tours, and have made many great connections. Just remember that everyone there is probibly just as scared as you are. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHello future Freshman,
ReplyDeleteI am an Academic Adviser at a large public university in Ohio. I would suggest that you find out if the college you plan to attend offers some sort of Learning Community. A Learning Community usually has some sort of theme, whether based on a particular major, life-style, or interest. Students in the Learning Community will take two or three classes together, so you get to see some familiar faces and meet students who share your interests. The classes that you take may correspond with each other, so the paper that you're working on in English 111, will tie in with the speech you have to give in your speech class, etc. But most importantly, remember that you ARE NOT the only one who is feeling scared!!! There are several 1,000 new freshman who would like to make new friends.
You're Going to Love it!!!!