I want to be in a serious relationship and I'm ready to get married. How do I find a potential spouse in a college environment, when so many people just want to hook up? I'm ready for something more.
Committed to Committing
Dear Committed,
It's awesome to have goals, but the destination shouldn't be all about getting engaged or even getting married - the destination is the rest of your life. The risk is that when you're so focused on getting married or getting engaged, you can miss out on getting to know if the relationship is built on something solid or just on adrenaline and dreams. Let's say you meet someone and date for six months. Then, you get engaged at six months. Then, you plan a wedding for the next year. The first two years will be pure adrenaline and ramped-up excitement. But then you'll have the rest of your life ahead of you. Unless you've had time to focus on getting to know each other, it's hard to know what you're getting into. Giving yourself time to date, know your partner and know yourself in a relationship is what it's all about. Sometimes people who run fast and furious toward marriage really are running away from being single. Getting married is easy. Staying married, now, that's the challenge. I'd shift your focus to meeting someone you can connect with first. And then, once you get a sense of who he is and who you are with him, consider something more. As for meeting someone, make yourself as available as possible. Use every resource available to you (online dating, blind dates, setups, etc) and put yourself in lots of rooms with lots of people. Go slow, avoid getting physical too fast and demand respect, and you'll find someone who will be yours forever.
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