Hey Harlan,
I'm a 21-year-old guy. I've decided that I'm destined to fail - that seems to be the way it has been for me. Just when I think I've learned and seen the silver lining on the darkest cloud, an even darker cloud seems to come along. I don't laugh anymore. I'm completely self-conscious, self-loathing, full of guilt and filled with resentment. I've traveled overseas, had some great girlfriends and I'm even in college, but everything is tainted. The past, the present and the future are black. I'm on some excellent numbing drugs. I can't cry, even if I really want to. I'm also seeing two psychologists who seem to help for an hour a week, but don't really teach or help me (in the long run). All they do is rattle on about the time their cat took a dump in the kitchen. I need something seriously drastic to happen. It seems that my destiny is failure, depression, no self-esteem, lack and loss and there's nothing I or Dr. Kitchencatcr*p can do about it.
"D"
Dear D,
I've never heard about the psychotherapy model involving cat feces in the kitchen - clearly, it doesn't work. I've spoken to hundreds of mental health professionals through the years. Some therapies work for some people, but few work for all. It depends on their style, approach, expertise, voice, gender and specialty. The first suggestion: Consider finding a new psychologist (don't stop until you find the right fit). The second suggestion: Shift your attitude. This failure thing is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead, adopt the philosophy of imperfection; I'm a lifer. Instead of comparing yourself with everyone around you and trying to be perfect, the imperfectionist strives to be his or her own personal best. When things don't go perfectly (life rarely does), the imperfectionist embraces the good and moves forward. Ironically, the imperfectionist is perfect. Consider these two suggestions and try to let some new light into your dark world.
Drop the drugs, get clean, and start learning about buddhist psychology. It's the original, and way ahead of western psychology. Bear one thing in mind though: it all boils down to personal responsibility. Don't blame your life on others or external conditions -- take ownership of your attitude, and change it.
ReplyDeleteWow! You are me a couple of years ago. Go to the first post of my new blog and see how things were for me. http://porthchapel.wordpress.com My new work as a copywriter has given me financial freedom and the ability to call my own shots. If you are interested visit here: http://www.getafreelancer.com/affiliates/porthchapel/ It is all free until you get some work, then they charge 5 bucks per project. More importantly though, it seems like you need some sort of change in your psychological regime. I don't know if you are spending your own money on these psychologists and numbing drugs, but your cash is probably better spent on getting yourself a life coach. My aunt in the US used a woman called Janie Behr. I think if you Google her name she has a site. My aunt is a changed woman and after only a matter of weeks, and is actually going to leave the house and come and visit me in the Philippines! She must be good. Good luck!
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