Hey Harlan,
My roommate is a very respectful guy who is outgoing with everyone. There is one problem, though: We both get very uncomfortable when we are alone together in our dorm. I try to start off conversations, but he usually seems uninterested, and the conversations end very quickly. I have not had any problems with him at all, besides the fact that his side of the room usually is unorganized and messy (as expected, right?). Whenever we are around a group of friends, everything seems to become more comfortable, and he talks to me frequently. I want to be good friends with him, but I don't want to force it. Is this normal, or is this just something to work on?
John
Hey John,
I hate to be the one to tell you, but I think you might be the problem. He's not your spouse; he's just a roommate. He doesn't need to be your friend. Expecting and pressuring him to be your friend probably is what's making things so uncomfortable. He might want just a roommate. The minute you can give him permission to be nothing more than a roommate is the moment it will be less awkward. You even might form a closer friendship. If you want to be the perfect roommate, don't try so hard to be his friend.
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