Dear Harlan,
I've always kept my dating life private and separate from school. However, that didn't stop my fellow graduate students from making one up for me. It began when I said something not so nice to an acquaintance. I felt bad, and I apologized. After that, I found out that he was a nice guy, and I sought his friendship. This included a single phone call regarding exams, which he didn't return. However, he took my interest to mean more, and he began avoiding me and telling the whole school that I had a nonexistent crush. It seems that the interest he imagined I held was embarrassing for him, because I don't exactly resemble a model - unless you consider those preferred by Ruben. I was hurt and angered. I decided to ignore him. This seemed to annoy him, and he pursued my friendship. Now, we've become acquaintances again, but I will never trust him. Though I have forgiven him, I still think of everyone discussing my "rejection." To tell you the truth, I'm still a little ticked off. His shameful behavior is like a giant purple elephant that we politely ignore as it stands in the middle of the room between us. How do I get past this?
I've always kept my dating life private and separate from school. However, that didn't stop my fellow graduate students from making one up for me. It began when I said something not so nice to an acquaintance. I felt bad, and I apologized. After that, I found out that he was a nice guy, and I sought his friendship. This included a single phone call regarding exams, which he didn't return. However, he took my interest to mean more, and he began avoiding me and telling the whole school that I had a nonexistent crush. It seems that the interest he imagined I held was embarrassing for him, because I don't exactly resemble a model - unless you consider those preferred by Ruben. I was hurt and angered. I decided to ignore him. This seemed to annoy him, and he pursued my friendship. Now, we've become acquaintances again, but I will never trust him. Though I have forgiven him, I still think of everyone discussing my "rejection." To tell you the truth, I'm still a little ticked off. His shameful behavior is like a giant purple elephant that we politely ignore as it stands in the middle of the room between us. How do I get past this?
Still Ticked
It's hard to get past a giant purple elephant standing in the middle of the room. You've got the trunk, the tusks, the smell and those purple elephant droppings.
ReplyDeleteYou've been so busy avoiding conflict that you've created an inner-conflict messier than if you had just confronted him. Tell him the truth. If he gets upset, he'll get over it. Let him know that how he handled your first friendship hurt your feelings and makes you leery of the next go-around. Hear what he has to say. Then ask him to keep this conversation between you two. If he can do that, consider trusting him. Either way, the elephant will be gone, and so will the mess.
- Harlan
i would keep on ignoring him and if he talked to me i would tell him to go to hell!
ReplyDelete