Dear Harlan,
My roommate is having her boyfriend over for four days. She told me: "If you feel uncomfortable, you should just leave." What should I do? It's a long time to be away from home. Besides, where does she expect me to go?
Fuming
Dear Fuming,
You could invite a friend or two over to spend the weekend and give her the option of leaving if it makes her uncomfortable. And no, I'm not recommending this. My first thought is that she's rude and selfish. My next thought is that you have a history together and for some reason, she thinks she can be rude and selfish. Which makes me think she's done this before, and you've put up with it. So, I'd start by telling her that you know she's excited, and you would be too, but this situation makes you uncomfortable. In fact, you should have said something to her sooner, but I'm assuming you didn't want to upset her. It's not that she has a visitor, but that the only option she presented to you was you leaving your home. Another option could be that she stay at a hotel, hang out in a friend's room or you leave for a night. So, figure out what you're comfortable doing and make an offer. Negotiate with her. But recognize, this might not be all about her being rude and selfish. She's probably just treating you
how she thinks you like to be treated. This is the perfect time to admit you were wrong for not saying something sooner.
You are her roommate. I don't know if you're in a dorm, but in dorms the rule is generally that the roommate comes first. She has no tight to kick you out of your own place. Tell her to go somewhere. Or invite a bunch of friends over that same weekend and tell her if it makes her feel uncomfortable, or if she wants some privacy, to go somewhere.
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