Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Abused Teen is Scared... Again

Hi Harlan,

I am 18 years old and am a senior in high school. I am dealing with so many stresses in my daily life, and I just recently met back up with my biological mother after six years. I had a stepfather who abused me a lot, and he just recently got out of jail. My mother is scared he will come back to harm her or me. I don't seem to know what to do. What would you do? And how do I get over something as scarring as abuse?

Child Troubled from Abuse

Hi Troubled,

I can't even begin to know what I would do. All I know is that there is one thing I've seen other survivors do that helps — and that's to NOT keep the abuse a secret. Keeping it all a big secret means holding onto the pain. Let it go and start sharing with the people who can help. Talk to a teacher or counselor at your high school and ask to be connected to a professional who can listen and help. Then ask to be connected to a support group. A support group can help you feel connected, draw strength from other people's victories and struggles and get help when you need it most (should you need it). I don't think "getting over it" should be your goal. Instead, living with this, accepting that it's happened and not allowing the past to dictate your future is a better goal. With help and support, instead of running from the past, you can live your life in the present. This should relieve a lot of your stress. Visit childhelp.org or call 1-800-4-A-Child to find additional help and resources.

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